1 00:00:02,573 --> 00:00:04,910 Woo, damn, yo, look at those portals. 2 00:00:04,911 --> 00:00:06,478 Yo, these things are the portals, right? 3 00:00:06,479 --> 00:00:09,385 - Yes, these are the gates. - Oh, gates, yeah, gates, sorry. 4 00:00:09,452 --> 00:00:12,357 Man. What do these run you like 500K or something? 5 00:00:12,358 --> 00:00:15,096 The budget for this project is over a billion dollars. 6 00:00:15,097 --> 00:00:16,177 Who is this guy again? 7 00:00:16,199 --> 00:00:17,368 My neighbor, Mark. 8 00:00:17,369 --> 00:00:19,605 Do you have any final questions before you begin? 9 00:00:19,606 --> 00:00:23,112 So uh, is this uh, like a worm hole situation or what? 10 00:00:23,113 --> 00:00:25,216 No. We scan all your molecules and rebuild 11 00:00:25,217 --> 00:00:26,986 you atom-by-atom in the other gate. 12 00:00:26,987 --> 00:00:28,356 Then the original you is vaporized. 13 00:00:28,357 --> 00:00:30,628 Gotcha. Gotcha. So I gotta ask here so, 14 00:00:30,662 --> 00:00:33,868 is this like, you know... [mumbles] 15 00:00:33,869 --> 00:00:34,936 What's he asking now? 16 00:00:34,937 --> 00:00:37,273 I think he's asking about a Super Bowl ticket? 17 00:00:37,274 --> 00:00:38,176 Why? 18 00:00:38,177 --> 00:00:39,645 How do you think we got him to do this? 19 00:00:39,646 --> 00:00:42,083 He wants to know if the field pass if for the whole game 20 00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:44,054 or just for warm-ups. - It's just for pre-game. 21 00:00:44,055 --> 00:00:45,805 He'll be in the stands for the game. 22 00:00:45,825 --> 00:00:47,829 [mumbles] 23 00:00:47,830 --> 00:00:49,632 He says he wants to be somewhere 24 00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,937 with a good view of the F-35 flyover. 25 00:00:51,970 --> 00:00:53,340 Is this guy for real? 26 00:00:53,341 --> 00:00:54,407 Hey, Mark. 27 00:00:54,408 --> 00:00:56,981 Ay, yo, Andrea! That's my neighbor. 28 00:00:56,982 --> 00:00:58,282 I thought we discussed this. 29 00:00:58,283 --> 00:00:59,952 Well I didn't realize I was like, you know... 30 00:00:59,953 --> 00:01:02,390 getting vaporized over here. So I feel like a field pass 31 00:01:02,391 --> 00:01:04,161 during the game is pretty fair. 32 00:01:04,162 --> 00:01:05,363 Mark, we'll work it out later. 33 00:01:05,364 --> 00:01:07,802 Alright cause I'm taking a pretty big risk here, okay. 34 00:01:07,803 --> 00:01:10,006 I've seen The Fly. For all I know I could come out 35 00:01:10,007 --> 00:01:11,275 the other end, the size of a fly. 36 00:01:11,276 --> 00:01:12,812 That's not what happens in The Fly. 37 00:01:12,813 --> 00:01:15,885 Wait, so what am I thinking of then, where they... shrink? 38 00:01:15,886 --> 00:01:17,153 - Honey, I Shrunk The Kids? 39 00:01:17,154 --> 00:01:18,204 Oh, yeah, okay. 40 00:01:18,256 --> 00:01:19,993 Mark! Are you in or out? 41 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:21,998 You'll get to meet Jason Kelce. 42 00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:24,133 Can we get a meet-and- greet with Jason Kelce? 43 00:01:24,134 --> 00:01:25,184 Sure. 44 00:01:25,303 --> 00:01:26,974 Okay, we're good here. 45 00:01:27,007 --> 00:01:31,851 Roger that. Initiation in 3-2-1... 46 00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:33,486 [beep] 47 00:01:36,426 --> 00:01:37,762 It worked. 48 00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:41,570 Yooo damn, dude, that was weird as hell. 49 00:01:41,904 --> 00:01:43,006 Wait a minute... 50 00:01:43,306 --> 00:01:45,912 Um... what is that? 51 00:01:46,513 --> 00:01:49,051 Uh. Think we got a situation here. 52 00:01:49,085 --> 00:01:51,355 Yeah. Think you may have cloned me. 53 00:01:52,592 --> 00:01:55,631 ? Well, I used to work in hot dog factory ? 54 00:01:55,732 --> 00:01:57,602 ? until them robots came along, ? 55 00:01:57,703 --> 00:01:59,607 ? and now there is no job for me, ? 56 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:02,044 ? but I get three thousand bucks a month. ? 57 00:02:02,144 --> 00:02:06,352 ? Thanks to UBI. ? 58 00:02:06,453 --> 00:02:09,994 ? Now we're Universal Basic Guys. ? 59 00:02:10,027 --> 00:02:14,903 ? It may not sound like much, but we're still gonna try. ? 60 00:02:15,003 --> 00:02:19,278 ? We're just Universal Basic Guys. ? 61 00:02:21,633 --> 00:02:26,592 Uh, why the hell are my knees bending the wrong way? 62 00:02:26,593 --> 00:02:29,198 Those are your elbows, they're just in the wrong place. 63 00:02:29,199 --> 00:02:32,137 So is that... me? 64 00:02:32,138 --> 00:02:34,107 More of less. I mean, it appears that even 65 00:02:34,108 --> 00:02:35,977 though teleportation was not fully achieved, 66 00:02:35,978 --> 00:02:38,249 the atom transference was initiated, 67 00:02:38,349 --> 00:02:40,420 and as such, we created what we call 68 00:02:40,421 --> 00:02:41,756 a physiological aberration. 69 00:02:41,757 --> 00:02:44,729 I see, okay, so it's like, what, like Danny DeVito in Twins? 70 00:02:44,730 --> 00:02:45,780 No. 71 00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:49,606 Again we sincerely apologize for this... inconvenience. 72 00:02:49,607 --> 00:02:52,210 Obviously these things happen, which is something you 73 00:02:52,211 --> 00:02:54,247 legally acknowledged when you signed the waiver. 74 00:02:54,248 --> 00:02:55,517 Are you kidding me?! So now what? 75 00:02:55,518 --> 00:02:58,355 There's just gonna be some freak version of me walking around? 76 00:02:58,356 --> 00:03:01,028 Oh, no. I wouldn't think of this "Aberrant Mark" as you. 77 00:03:01,029 --> 00:03:04,369 He's... more of a misassembled collection of your cells. 78 00:03:04,469 --> 00:03:06,507 Sort of like a... talking tumor. 79 00:03:06,607 --> 00:03:10,180 - Yo, I feel like I gotta pee, but uh, I feel it in 80 00:03:10,247 --> 00:03:11,387 my shoulder blade here... 81 00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:14,355 Hmm, I'm not sure where your urethra ended up. 82 00:03:14,388 --> 00:03:17,027 Tell ya what, just start going and we'll 83 00:03:17,028 --> 00:03:18,563 move the bucket when we find out. 84 00:03:18,564 --> 00:03:20,466 With all his organs reshuffled, his body will 85 00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:22,337 likely see his functioning within a few days. 86 00:03:22,338 --> 00:03:24,040 And when he does you just call this number 87 00:03:24,041 --> 00:03:26,880 and a team will come out with our acid truck to dispose of it. 88 00:03:26,881 --> 00:03:28,015 Whoa whoa, wait a second- 89 00:03:28,016 --> 00:03:29,885 so first you create this thing, now you're telling me 90 00:03:29,886 --> 00:03:31,890 I've gotta take it back to my house and wait for it to die. 91 00:03:31,891 --> 00:03:33,960 When possible, we try to avoid having anyone 92 00:03:33,961 --> 00:03:36,399 technically die on our property. 93 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:39,137 Alright well, can't you just, put him on roller skates and 94 00:03:39,138 --> 00:03:40,574 push him down a driveway into traffic? 95 00:03:40,575 --> 00:03:42,612 What if we get you that parking pass? 96 00:03:43,714 --> 00:03:44,764 Done. 97 00:03:48,023 --> 00:03:49,073 Hey hun. - Hey hun. 98 00:03:49,158 --> 00:03:50,995 Ah! What the hell?! 99 00:03:51,029 --> 00:03:53,734 It's okay, Tam. He's just a mess up clone thing. 100 00:03:53,735 --> 00:03:56,038 - No, I'm not. You're the frickin' clone, pal. 101 00:03:56,039 --> 00:03:57,406 What did you do?! 102 00:03:57,407 --> 00:04:00,581 Relax. It's fine. I just volunteered for an experiment. 103 00:04:00,582 --> 00:04:02,050 and I got a little rearranged. 104 00:04:02,051 --> 00:04:03,788 Uh... I'm sorry? You what? 105 00:04:03,789 --> 00:04:05,924 But the good news is, they accidentally cloned me 106 00:04:05,925 --> 00:04:07,995 so now we got this able-bodied guy right 107 00:04:08,096 --> 00:04:11,002 here to help out with stuff around the house, right, pal? 108 00:04:11,035 --> 00:04:12,170 Yeah, guy's a riot. 109 00:04:12,171 --> 00:04:13,607 Yo clone, can you deal with this? 110 00:04:13,608 --> 00:04:16,044 I want to catch the last period of the Flyers game. 111 00:04:16,045 --> 00:04:19,218 Oh! Gah, yo! Classic. Man... 112 00:04:19,318 --> 00:04:21,389 Mark, what the hell is going on? 113 00:04:21,489 --> 00:04:23,226 Why are there two of you? 114 00:04:23,259 --> 00:04:25,197 There's not two of me, Tam. 115 00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:26,899 There's me, and then there's that 116 00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:29,805 glitchy scrambled eggs version of my cells over there, okay? 117 00:04:29,806 --> 00:04:30,856 It's not a big deal. 118 00:04:30,941 --> 00:04:33,748 Are you telling me some mutated version of your DNA, 119 00:04:33,749 --> 00:04:36,284 is just gonna be hanging out in our house from now on. 120 00:04:36,285 --> 00:04:38,624 Tam, relax, okay. This is a small price to 121 00:04:38,658 --> 00:04:40,228 pay for a trip to the Super Bowl. 122 00:04:40,326 --> 00:04:42,676 You did this for a frickin' Super Bowl ticket? 123 00:04:42,799 --> 00:04:45,337 Uh, and a field pass with VIP parking. 124 00:04:45,470 --> 00:04:47,742 Oh, come on. What about our Super Bowl party? 125 00:04:47,743 --> 00:04:50,346 Oh Tam, this is a once- in-a-life-time opportunity. 126 00:04:50,347 --> 00:04:51,516 So you're telling me you'd rather 127 00:04:51,517 --> 00:04:54,087 go to the game alone than be with your family and friends? 128 00:04:54,088 --> 00:04:56,378 I am gonna to be with family and friends, okay. 129 00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:57,527 You ever heard of social media? 130 00:04:57,528 --> 00:05:00,267 I'm gonna take a bunch of pics. I'm gonna post them, so 131 00:05:00,268 --> 00:05:02,237 it's basically like you're right there with me. 132 00:05:02,238 --> 00:05:04,842 In fact, it's like my whole- all my friends are with me. 133 00:05:04,843 --> 00:05:06,245 Ohh! Damn, dude! 134 00:05:06,246 --> 00:05:07,815 Yo, clone! you gotta see this hit. 135 00:05:07,816 --> 00:05:09,619 Guy on a Bruins just got obliterated. 136 00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:12,257 His face looks like it went through the frickin' teleporter! 137 00:05:12,258 --> 00:05:13,578 Oho-yo, I mean come on, Tam. 138 00:05:13,627 --> 00:05:16,157 I know it's weird but the guy's pretty hysterical. 139 00:05:16,158 --> 00:05:17,768 I mean yeah, sure, I got my colon 140 00:05:17,769 --> 00:05:19,003 threaded through my collarbone, 141 00:05:19,004 --> 00:05:22,044 but at least I got this clone here to run errands for me. 142 00:05:22,110 --> 00:05:23,380 - Oh yeah! I'm the clone? 143 00:05:23,514 --> 00:05:25,652 Says the frickin' Picasso over here. 144 00:05:25,653 --> 00:05:28,388 Ay yo Hank, can you take this knucklehead to the clone store 145 00:05:28,389 --> 00:05:30,092 and return it for one with a little less sass? 146 00:05:30,093 --> 00:05:32,463 - Aha, that's funny! Yo, that's pretty good, right? 147 00:05:32,464 --> 00:05:33,568 Get outta here, dude. 148 00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:36,072 Wait, uh... which one of you is the real Mark? 149 00:05:36,105 --> 00:05:37,274 Me, Hank. - Me, Hank. 150 00:05:37,275 --> 00:05:39,545 Look, I know I'm technically on their health insurance, 151 00:05:39,546 --> 00:05:41,749 but I think it's pretty despicable of Humantis 152 00:05:41,750 --> 00:05:44,054 to use untested equipment on random citizens. 153 00:05:44,055 --> 00:05:45,790 Nah, it's all good. - Nah, it's all good. 154 00:05:45,791 --> 00:05:48,430 I'm going to a frickin' Super Bowl, baby! 155 00:05:48,631 --> 00:05:50,300 - Is one of you Mark Hoagies? 156 00:05:50,301 --> 00:05:51,535 Yeah. Over here/That's me. 157 00:05:51,536 --> 00:05:53,372 I got a delivery for... 158 00:05:54,776 --> 00:05:56,478 yous... 159 00:05:57,448 --> 00:05:59,553 Ah. There it is, baby! Super Bowl ticket. 160 00:05:59,554 --> 00:06:00,988 Alright dude. Come on. Very funny. 161 00:06:00,989 --> 00:06:02,858 - Give me a ticket. - You think I'm kiddin'? 162 00:06:02,859 --> 00:06:04,962 I didn't get my organs all jumbled up 163 00:06:04,963 --> 00:06:06,966 so that my stinkin' clone could go to the game. 164 00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:09,317 - Hey, c'mon, dude. - Get outta here, imposter! 165 00:06:09,939 --> 00:06:11,275 Uh... Mark...s? 166 00:06:11,777 --> 00:06:13,680 Yo, I got 20 bucks on the mutant. 167 00:06:14,030 --> 00:06:17,988 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we are here 168 00:06:17,989 --> 00:06:21,831 today because of Humantis' reckless and barbaric decision 169 00:06:21,931 --> 00:06:24,469 to test a dangerous and unproven technology 170 00:06:24,536 --> 00:06:27,909 on an easily-exploited, feeble-minded man. 171 00:06:27,910 --> 00:06:29,010 To make matters worse, 172 00:06:29,011 --> 00:06:31,617 this company shamefully opted to only provide 173 00:06:31,717 --> 00:06:33,720 one single ticket to the game. 174 00:06:33,787 --> 00:06:35,792 So today, you must decide 175 00:06:35,892 --> 00:06:38,764 which of these two "Marks" should go to the Super Bowl. 176 00:06:38,797 --> 00:06:41,369 And we're gonna start with the deformed- sorry... 177 00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:44,041 the anatomically divergent Mark. 178 00:06:44,075 --> 00:06:45,443 Hello everybody, 179 00:06:45,878 --> 00:06:49,318 so um... I deserve the ticket because I'm me. 180 00:06:49,319 --> 00:06:51,589 I went to the lab thing, I signed a frickin' form 181 00:06:51,590 --> 00:06:53,459 and I came out all jacked up, okay. 182 00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:55,731 Then I look across the room, and there's some- 183 00:06:55,732 --> 00:06:58,202 this weird clone imposter standing there, okay. 184 00:06:58,203 --> 00:07:00,206 He can't be me because I'm me. 185 00:07:00,473 --> 00:07:01,743 Thanks. 186 00:07:02,545 --> 00:07:03,748 Compelling stuff. 187 00:07:03,915 --> 00:07:06,252 And now for the normal- uh, sorry... 188 00:07:06,352 --> 00:07:08,791 the anatomically typical Mark. 189 00:07:08,792 --> 00:07:11,127 Alright, this shouldn't be that hard people, 190 00:07:11,128 --> 00:07:12,130 look at this photo ID. 191 00:07:12,131 --> 00:07:14,034 Do you see a head coming out of my shoulder? 192 00:07:14,035 --> 00:07:15,771 - No? - Uh... no... 193 00:07:15,772 --> 00:07:17,373 Okay well therefore, I deserve the 194 00:07:17,374 --> 00:07:18,743 ticket because I'm obviously Mark. 195 00:07:18,744 --> 00:07:20,313 Alright listen, I- I don't know how 196 00:07:20,314 --> 00:07:21,583 to prove that I'm not the clone, 197 00:07:21,584 --> 00:07:23,485 but I've definitely got the harder life, okay. 198 00:07:23,486 --> 00:07:25,490 I'm the one who's gotta pee out my belly button. 199 00:07:25,491 --> 00:07:27,126 Ah, yeah, I was wondering about that. 200 00:07:27,127 --> 00:07:29,966 So yeah, it's sorta like a Make-A-Wish situation, okay 201 00:07:30,066 --> 00:07:31,116 Vote for me. 202 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:33,338 Oh come on, this is ridiculous. 203 00:07:33,339 --> 00:07:34,575 How is this even a question, okay? 204 00:07:34,576 --> 00:07:37,179 You're gonna give my ticket to the frickin' talking tumor? 205 00:07:37,180 --> 00:07:39,552 He's not even gonna live long enough to use it. 206 00:07:40,386 --> 00:07:41,990 Uh, what are you talking about? 207 00:07:42,257 --> 00:07:43,794 Uh... nothing. 208 00:07:43,861 --> 00:07:45,631 Uh, no. Don't "um nothing" me, okay. 209 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:48,135 I know when I blurted out something I shouldn't have. 210 00:07:48,136 --> 00:07:49,104 Alright, fine, okay uh... 211 00:07:49,105 --> 00:07:51,074 It shouldn't come as a big surprise, but yeah, 212 00:07:51,075 --> 00:07:54,281 the scientist said you only had a few days to live so... sorry. 213 00:07:54,481 --> 00:07:57,989 Alriiiight well, that was quite a bombshell, 214 00:07:58,089 --> 00:07:59,893 but we still have to vote, 215 00:07:59,926 --> 00:08:03,867 so all in favor of giving the ticket to this Mark, 216 00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:05,003 raise your hand. 217 00:08:05,036 --> 00:08:07,675 Wait, are you kidding m- Oh my God, come on! 218 00:08:07,775 --> 00:08:09,912 Okay, we have reached the verdict. 219 00:08:09,913 --> 00:08:13,253 Congrats! You're going to the Super Bowl! 220 00:08:13,353 --> 00:08:15,624 [awkward clap] 221 00:08:22,939 --> 00:08:26,246 Hey you uh, you watching videos of unlikely animal friends? 222 00:08:26,312 --> 00:08:27,362 Yeah. 223 00:08:27,414 --> 00:08:29,952 That's what I like to watch when I'm feeling down. 224 00:08:29,953 --> 00:08:31,655 Yep. 225 00:08:31,656 --> 00:08:32,958 You wanna talk about it? 226 00:08:33,293 --> 00:08:34,343 Nope. 227 00:08:34,344 --> 00:08:35,363 C'mon dude. Cheer up, okay. 228 00:08:35,364 --> 00:08:37,300 You're going to the frickin' Super Bowl. 229 00:08:37,301 --> 00:08:38,741 Yeah, if I even live that long. 230 00:08:38,742 --> 00:08:42,342 Alright well, to be fair, we're all gonna die. It's just... 231 00:08:42,343 --> 00:08:45,049 y' know, you're gonna to do it in the next few days. 232 00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:46,720 Man, I got a whole list of things 233 00:08:46,820 --> 00:08:48,289 I wanted to do before I die. 234 00:08:48,290 --> 00:08:49,525 Well, what's stopping you? 235 00:08:49,526 --> 00:08:51,360 How the hell am I going to go hang-gliding 236 00:08:51,361 --> 00:08:53,766 across the Delaware River dressed as George Washington 237 00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,369 when I gotta frickin' foot for a hand. 238 00:08:55,370 --> 00:08:58,777 Alright well, I got hands for hands, so maybe I can help you. 239 00:08:59,244 --> 00:09:02,351 We can do it together. I mean, it's my bucket list too, 240 00:09:02,352 --> 00:09:03,820 might as well get a head start. 241 00:09:03,821 --> 00:09:07,562 Okay. Yeah, let's do it. - Let's gooo!! 242 00:09:07,563 --> 00:09:09,263 ? [Ahhh... so let's go! (Let's go!)] ? 243 00:09:09,264 --> 00:09:13,206 ? [Let's do all the things that I wanna do with you!] ? 244 00:09:13,239 --> 00:09:14,474 ? [With me!] 245 00:09:14,542 --> 00:09:16,680 ? [Cuz I'm you! (You're me!)] ? 246 00:09:16,714 --> 00:09:18,349 ? [We're the same guy!] 247 00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:19,618 ? [Let's go! (Let's go!)] 248 00:09:19,619 --> 00:09:21,021 ? [I got it all mapped out.] 249 00:09:21,055 --> 00:09:24,729 ? [I'm a Make-A-Wish man and I'm almost tapped out.] ? 250 00:09:24,762 --> 00:09:26,499 ? [Let's go! (Let's go!)] ? 251 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,301 ? [There's you and me] ? 252 00:09:28,302 --> 00:09:29,872 ? [And we're both gonna die] 253 00:09:29,973 --> 00:09:33,146 ? [but you're gonna die immediately] ? 254 00:09:33,179 --> 00:09:34,229 ? [Let's go!] 255 00:09:34,248 --> 00:09:36,620 Oh man, gotta say I wasn't sure that riding in a 256 00:09:36,621 --> 00:09:38,623 fighter jet was going to live up to the hype, 257 00:09:38,624 --> 00:09:40,494 but damn dude, that Cobra Maneuver? 258 00:09:40,495 --> 00:09:41,662 Man, that was unreal. 259 00:09:41,663 --> 00:09:44,536 Yeah dude. Oh man, I did kinda feel bad though, 260 00:09:44,636 --> 00:09:47,206 when I puked all over the pilot, but in my defense, 261 00:09:47,307 --> 00:09:50,257 my stomach is wrapped around my ribs like a French horn, so... 262 00:09:50,258 --> 00:09:52,717 Alright, it looks like, yeah, we've hit a lot of these. 263 00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:54,053 Probably not gonna get to "live in 264 00:09:54,054 --> 00:09:57,060 San Diego for a couple decades." But... Ooh, dude, 265 00:09:57,061 --> 00:09:58,128 tomorrow's a biggie: 266 00:09:58,129 --> 00:09:59,965 We got "hang gliding over the Delaware River 267 00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:01,586 dressed as George Washingtons." 268 00:10:01,587 --> 00:10:03,138 Gotta admit, clone. This bucket 269 00:10:03,139 --> 00:10:05,043 list thing was a pretty sweet idea. 270 00:10:05,044 --> 00:10:06,912 Yeah, you know, you get so caught up in 271 00:10:06,913 --> 00:10:09,150 stuff like spending time with friends and family, 272 00:10:09,151 --> 00:10:11,154 you forget the really important things in life, 273 00:10:11,155 --> 00:10:13,660 like running into a tornado wearing a Zorb ball. 274 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:16,131 Yo, Mark! Could you help us set up the tent? 275 00:10:16,132 --> 00:10:18,836 You know, if we leave now, we could probably knock off, 276 00:10:18,837 --> 00:10:20,807 "teach all the parrots at the pet store to say, 277 00:10:20,808 --> 00:10:21,942 'Dallas sucks'" from the list. 278 00:10:21,943 --> 00:10:24,246 Actually, y'know what, uh why don't you go without me. 279 00:10:24,247 --> 00:10:26,786 I gonna stay here and help out. - Oh, uh... you sure? 280 00:10:26,787 --> 00:10:28,656 Yeah, dude. It's the least I could do for 281 00:10:28,657 --> 00:10:30,225 all the stuff you've been doing for me. 282 00:10:30,226 --> 00:10:33,567 I mean, you could always give me that Super Bowl ticket. 283 00:10:33,568 --> 00:10:35,002 Honestly, I'm feeling pretty decent. 284 00:10:35,003 --> 00:10:37,173 I might actually make it to the game after all. 285 00:10:37,174 --> 00:10:40,848 Oh, uh... Great. Yeah. That's great to hear. 286 00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,818 Hey yo, Tam! You need a hand with that? 287 00:10:42,819 --> 00:10:45,423 Uh... yeah, actually. That would be great. 288 00:10:46,319 --> 00:10:49,330 - Here you go. - Ah, thanks, bud. 289 00:10:49,331 --> 00:10:51,836 Anything else I can help with? - No, dude, I got this. 290 00:10:51,837 --> 00:10:53,706 Why don't you go throw some dogs on the grill 291 00:10:53,707 --> 00:10:56,445 and watch the Flyers game. - Oh. Uh. Hell yeah. 292 00:10:56,980 --> 00:10:59,385 You're doing okay they're Mutant Ma- I... I mean... 293 00:10:59,485 --> 00:11:02,457 Tam, it's fine, okay. I'm Mark and I'm also a mutant. 294 00:11:02,490 --> 00:11:03,540 It works. 295 00:11:03,541 --> 00:11:06,799 Sorry. I'm still getting used to this whole "two Marks" thing. 296 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,301 Anyway, I'm running to the supermarket 297 00:11:08,302 --> 00:11:10,439 to get stuff for the party. - Sounds good, hon. 298 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:11,843 Actually, you know what? 299 00:11:11,943 --> 00:11:13,547 Is it cool if I come along? 300 00:11:13,580 --> 00:11:15,817 Um... You wanna run errands with me? 301 00:11:15,918 --> 00:11:17,321 Yeah, I'd love to. 302 00:11:17,454 --> 00:11:18,824 Oh, okay. 303 00:11:18,825 --> 00:11:20,994 Oh man, he's pretty cool, actually. 304 00:11:20,995 --> 00:11:23,065 I really like this new Mark, huh? 305 00:11:26,606 --> 00:11:29,679 Haha. You know, I gotta say, I'm impressed. 306 00:11:29,746 --> 00:11:31,917 You didn't even buy any squirtable cheese 307 00:11:31,918 --> 00:11:33,586 or Twix-flavored puddings or nothing. 308 00:11:33,587 --> 00:11:36,125 Yeah, nah trying to eat healthy, you know. 309 00:11:36,225 --> 00:11:38,575 I wanna stave off the reaper for as long as I can. 310 00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:41,002 Wow. Look at you, Mutant Mark Hoagies. 311 00:11:41,003 --> 00:11:42,938 But, lemme tell ya, I'd make an exception for 312 00:11:42,939 --> 00:11:44,742 a little sneak preview of those 313 00:11:44,809 --> 00:11:47,247 patented Tammy Hoagies mini meatballs. 314 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:50,721 Ohoh, sure, hun. I didn't realize you liked 'em. 315 00:11:50,722 --> 00:11:53,291 Like 'em? I friggin' love them. They're unbelievable. 316 00:11:53,292 --> 00:11:55,730 Huh. You know you never mentioned that to me before. 317 00:11:55,731 --> 00:11:56,967 Yeah well, I should have. 318 00:11:57,034 --> 00:11:59,772 There's actually a ton of stuff you do that I love 319 00:11:59,773 --> 00:12:01,642 and... probably should tell you that more. 320 00:12:01,643 --> 00:12:05,952 Thanks, hun. 321 00:12:06,085 --> 00:12:07,135 The Hell? 322 00:12:07,154 --> 00:12:09,291 Uh... Am I interrupting something? 323 00:12:09,391 --> 00:12:11,896 Yeah. You can give us a hand with the bags. 324 00:12:11,930 --> 00:12:14,040 Ah, it's all good. Don't worry, Tam. I got it. 325 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,297 You know, I'm making those mini-meatballs 326 00:12:16,305 --> 00:12:17,445 for the party tomorrow. 327 00:12:17,473 --> 00:12:20,346 Oh cool. Uh yo, did you get any uh, any Twix pudding? 328 00:12:26,325 --> 00:12:27,375 Tammy? 329 00:12:31,068 --> 00:12:33,238 You gotta be frickin' kidding me. 330 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:36,011 [phone dialing] 331 00:12:36,012 --> 00:12:38,883 Humantis Biotech Containment Services. This is Bill. 332 00:12:38,884 --> 00:12:40,988 Hey Bill. So uh, I got this uh, 333 00:12:41,088 --> 00:12:43,618 mutant clone thing that was supposed to die but uh... 334 00:12:43,660 --> 00:12:45,229 yeah it sort of hasn't 335 00:12:45,230 --> 00:12:47,466 and now my whole family likes it more to me, and uh, 336 00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,839 on top of that, he's got my Super Bowl tickets, 337 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,274 so yeah, is there anything that- 338 00:12:51,275 --> 00:12:53,278 No problem, sir. We'll send our relocation 339 00:12:53,279 --> 00:12:55,081 team to take care of this immediately. 340 00:12:55,082 --> 00:12:56,886 Awesome dude. Appreciate it. 341 00:12:59,826 --> 00:13:02,397 Alright, uh, I got a Blueberry and Sour Patch Kids 342 00:13:02,430 --> 00:13:03,868 pancakes for my guy here. 343 00:13:03,934 --> 00:13:05,236 No way! Thanks, Mark. 344 00:13:05,237 --> 00:13:06,872 Hey, Mernft, you need more bacon? 345 00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:08,910 You're uh, wasting away over there. 346 00:13:08,944 --> 00:13:11,081 - No I'm good. Yo David, you want pancakes? 347 00:13:11,215 --> 00:13:13,520 Eh. I'm trying to cut down on white flour. 348 00:13:13,521 --> 00:13:16,124 Actually, they're whole grain. I'm tryin' to eat clean. 349 00:13:16,125 --> 00:13:18,830 Oh. Alright, well then flapjack me up. 350 00:13:18,930 --> 00:13:21,468 Heh Mark, why are you being so cool all of a sudden? 351 00:13:21,469 --> 00:13:22,570 Did your brain mutate too? 352 00:13:22,571 --> 00:13:24,440 Let me tell you, okay, coming face-to-face with 353 00:13:24,441 --> 00:13:26,144 your own mortality, will do that to ya. 354 00:13:26,145 --> 00:13:27,514 Made me really appreciate you guys. 355 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:30,855 - Here you go, hun. - Ooho baby. Let's gooo! 356 00:13:30,955 --> 00:13:32,658 Let me get in on this. Mmm. 357 00:13:32,691 --> 00:13:33,861 Ohoho! You like it? 358 00:13:33,894 --> 00:13:36,097 Do I like it? I frickin' love it. 359 00:13:36,098 --> 00:13:38,268 This is your best batch so far, hands down. 360 00:13:38,369 --> 00:13:41,341 Oh yeah, gimme some! Yoo. There he is! 361 00:13:41,375 --> 00:13:44,982 Hide your cherry trees! It's Mr. Dolla Dolla, himself, 362 00:13:45,082 --> 00:13:47,019 G-Dubz. Looking good, dude. 363 00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:49,858 Uh. Are we still doing this or what's going on, bud? 364 00:13:49,859 --> 00:13:52,263 Hah nah nah. Rain check. You got a bag to pack. 365 00:13:52,264 --> 00:13:54,868 Car's gonna be here any minute to take you to the airport. 366 00:13:54,869 --> 00:13:57,942 Wait, uh. Uh... is this what I think it is? 367 00:13:58,009 --> 00:14:00,346 Sure is, bud. Super Bowl ticket. 368 00:14:00,379 --> 00:14:01,750 I want you to have it. 369 00:14:01,751 --> 00:14:03,753 The memory will last a lot longer with you. 370 00:14:03,754 --> 00:14:04,856 Wow. Thanks dude. 371 00:14:04,989 --> 00:14:07,393 Ah it's all good. If I'm on my way out, 372 00:14:07,394 --> 00:14:08,862 I wanna spend whatever time 373 00:14:08,863 --> 00:14:11,603 I have left with uh, friends and family, so... 374 00:14:11,604 --> 00:14:14,173 Yo there's like a fancy black Escalade out front. 375 00:14:14,174 --> 00:14:15,674 Oph, guess they're here early. 376 00:14:15,711 --> 00:14:17,514 You might want to go pack that bag. 377 00:14:20,821 --> 00:14:22,691 Huh? What's this? 378 00:14:23,125 --> 00:14:25,196 Dear Mark, if you're reading this now, 379 00:14:25,297 --> 00:14:27,167 you're on your way to the Super Bowl. 380 00:14:27,168 --> 00:14:29,571 I'm not sure if I'll be around when you get back, 381 00:14:29,572 --> 00:14:32,444 but either way, I'll be out of your hair soon. 382 00:14:32,445 --> 00:14:35,015 You do remember the one thing we always said we'd 383 00:14:35,016 --> 00:14:36,946 do if we went to the Super Bowl, right? 384 00:14:36,986 --> 00:14:38,289 Heh, get outta here... 385 00:14:38,290 --> 00:14:40,225 Here's a battery to chuck at the refs 386 00:14:40,226 --> 00:14:42,429 his payback for the B.S. defensive holding call 387 00:14:42,430 --> 00:14:44,660 that cost us a Super Bowl against the Chiefs. 388 00:14:44,769 --> 00:14:45,938 Make us proud 389 00:14:46,072 --> 00:14:49,077 Aw man. He's a good guy. Wait a minute... 390 00:14:49,310 --> 00:14:51,516 that means 'I'm a good guy.' 391 00:14:51,783 --> 00:14:54,187 [phone] 392 00:14:54,188 --> 00:14:55,355 Hey, what's up Mark? 393 00:14:55,356 --> 00:14:57,192 Hey David uh, yo is Andrea around or...? 394 00:14:57,193 --> 00:14:59,231 No. I- I'm still at your place. Why? 395 00:14:59,431 --> 00:15:02,081 Oh uh, I was just wondering, if you could just ask her 396 00:15:02,103 --> 00:15:04,441 If the Humantis relocation team can 397 00:15:04,508 --> 00:15:07,615 find a way to relocate Mutant Mark to San Diego, 398 00:15:07,715 --> 00:15:10,485 I really appreciate that. - Wait, what did you just say? 399 00:15:10,587 --> 00:15:12,724 Oh it's just, y'know, I always wanted... 400 00:15:12,825 --> 00:15:14,729 We always wanted to live there, so... 401 00:15:14,763 --> 00:15:18,068 No, I mean, what did you say about "relocating" Mutant Mark? 402 00:15:18,101 --> 00:15:21,041 Oh yeah, I just called that card that Jason gave me, 403 00:15:21,042 --> 00:15:22,811 and uh, you know I let them know that 404 00:15:22,812 --> 00:15:23,913 Mutant Mark hadn't expired yet, 405 00:15:23,914 --> 00:15:26,150 so they're gonna send a team over to relocate him. 406 00:15:26,151 --> 00:15:30,092 Oh, Mark. "Relocate" is a Humantis industry term. 407 00:15:30,125 --> 00:15:32,363 - It means kill! - Oh, my God... 408 00:15:32,397 --> 00:15:36,171 Hey sir. I need to get back home, like, as soon as possible. 409 00:15:37,106 --> 00:15:41,181 Yo! Hey driver! Driver guy!... Or girl! 410 00:15:46,859 --> 00:15:49,230 Hey. I'm here for a "Mark Hoagies." 411 00:15:49,331 --> 00:15:51,936 Uh... Yeah, um, we're actually good, 412 00:15:51,969 --> 00:15:54,106 we don't need you guys. It was a mistake. 413 00:15:54,107 --> 00:15:55,443 He died already. 414 00:15:55,577 --> 00:15:57,848 He died? Aw. Poor guy. 415 00:15:57,949 --> 00:15:59,852 Just before going to the Super Bowl. 416 00:15:59,886 --> 00:16:01,088 I'm sorry, what? 417 00:16:01,121 --> 00:16:03,727 I'm here to drive Mr. Hoagies to the airport. 418 00:16:04,027 --> 00:16:05,630 Oh my God. 419 00:16:10,508 --> 00:16:13,312 Whoa. Is this like the airport VIP entrance, 420 00:16:13,379 --> 00:16:17,053 - uh, what's going on? - Eh... Something like that. 421 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:18,557 Wait a minute... 422 00:16:18,891 --> 00:16:21,428 Ow! What the hell... ugh... 423 00:16:22,430 --> 00:16:24,401 Gah! Jason's not picking up. Ugh! 424 00:16:24,402 --> 00:16:27,105 - Can you call someone else?! - No. It goes to a call service. 425 00:16:27,106 --> 00:16:28,174 I have to go down there. 426 00:16:28,175 --> 00:16:29,109 I'm coming with you guys. 427 00:16:29,110 --> 00:16:31,047 I don't know if that's a good idea, Mark. 428 00:16:31,048 --> 00:16:32,951 You are the mutant they're supposed to kill. 429 00:16:32,952 --> 00:16:34,354 - Relocate. - Okay, Andrea. 430 00:16:34,454 --> 00:16:37,427 C'mon, the guy is me, okay? I can't not save myself. 431 00:16:37,461 --> 00:16:39,465 My family needs a healthy Mark around. 432 00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:42,370 Damn. I'm blown away by your selflessness. 433 00:16:42,470 --> 00:16:45,060 Yeah you like, David, right? Pretty selfless, eh? 434 00:16:45,143 --> 00:16:46,880 Enough. Let's go. 435 00:16:47,147 --> 00:16:49,586 This guy's a mutant? Looks kind of normal. 436 00:16:49,852 --> 00:16:52,624 You sure? Look at his head. It's like a giant thumb. 437 00:16:52,625 --> 00:16:56,632 So how come you didn't just kill me immediately? 438 00:16:56,633 --> 00:16:57,683 Some legal B.S. 439 00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,972 Believe me, if it we're up to me, we would have. 440 00:16:59,973 --> 00:17:01,942 I mean, speaking purely from a PR perspective. 441 00:17:01,943 --> 00:17:04,079 Andrea! What the hell?! This is criminal! 442 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:05,130 Eh. It's a grey area. 443 00:17:05,131 --> 00:17:06,718 Well, it's definitely immoral. 444 00:17:06,719 --> 00:17:09,429 David, my Humantis paycheck supports our whole life 445 00:17:09,490 --> 00:17:12,260 Our house, your swim lessons, our intamacy counselor. 446 00:17:12,261 --> 00:17:14,868 No one knows how important those swim lessons are more than me. 447 00:17:14,869 --> 00:17:17,039 I feel totally confident in the tub these days, 448 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:18,676 but this is a bridge too far. 449 00:17:18,710 --> 00:17:20,079 [tires screech] 450 00:17:20,179 --> 00:17:21,515 We're here. 451 00:17:22,785 --> 00:17:23,921 The hell? 452 00:17:24,054 --> 00:17:25,925 Yo! C'mon, what the hell's going on? 453 00:17:26,058 --> 00:17:27,108 Hey! Hey! 454 00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:29,665 Sorry, mutant. You'll be relocated shortly. 455 00:17:29,666 --> 00:17:30,716 Uh, I'm sorry, what? 456 00:17:31,602 --> 00:17:33,673 - Stop! - Andrea? Mark? 457 00:17:33,773 --> 00:17:35,577 Cancel this procedure. Now! 458 00:17:35,611 --> 00:17:37,815 Sorry. That order has to come from Jason. 459 00:17:37,816 --> 00:17:39,149 What are you talking about?! 460 00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:41,200 You're about to kill an innocent person. 461 00:17:41,201 --> 00:17:42,256 That's the mutant! 462 00:17:42,257 --> 00:17:43,794 Andrea! - Woah woah. Come on. 463 00:17:43,860 --> 00:17:46,364 Hmm. Yeah, okay. Bill, grab him. 464 00:17:51,843 --> 00:17:53,045 Go go go go! 465 00:17:53,346 --> 00:17:55,049 Hey. Listen, I'm really sorry 466 00:17:55,083 --> 00:17:56,833 about the whole relocation thing. 467 00:17:56,886 --> 00:18:00,426 I had no idea it was like a ah, murder situation. 468 00:18:01,996 --> 00:18:03,298 Come on. Come on. 469 00:18:04,735 --> 00:18:06,606 There! That's him. 470 00:18:06,839 --> 00:18:08,877 - Which one? - Are you serious? 471 00:18:08,977 --> 00:18:11,015 Sorry, I have Full- Body Agnosia. 472 00:18:11,016 --> 00:18:12,550 It's a severe form of face blindness 473 00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:14,153 that extends to the whole body. 474 00:18:14,187 --> 00:18:15,624 [smack] Boom. Headshot. 475 00:18:15,625 --> 00:18:16,725 What the hell? 476 00:18:16,726 --> 00:18:18,529 Why didn't you throw it at the guy with the gun? 477 00:18:18,530 --> 00:18:20,666 Ugh. I have to go lie down and put pressure on it. 478 00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,537 Wait was that the battery I gave you? 479 00:18:22,571 --> 00:18:23,621 You know it. 480 00:18:23,622 --> 00:18:25,810 Shut up! Tell me who the mutant is or I'll kill you both. 481 00:18:25,811 --> 00:18:28,148 Whoa whoa hey listen, I'm the mutant, okay? 482 00:18:28,248 --> 00:18:29,938 This guy here, he's the real Mark. 483 00:18:29,939 --> 00:18:31,354 No no no. I'm the mutant, okay. 484 00:18:31,355 --> 00:18:32,792 He's the real Mark. 485 00:18:32,892 --> 00:18:34,762 [ding] It's here. Let's go. 486 00:18:35,029 --> 00:18:36,733 Come on, come on... 487 00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:38,903 [click, click] 488 00:18:42,143 --> 00:18:44,515 Noooo! 489 00:18:48,237 --> 00:18:51,327 No no no no! Yeah, that's a bullet. 490 00:18:51,328 --> 00:18:52,798 That is a bullet. 491 00:18:55,571 --> 00:18:58,342 Well, guess I'm being "relocated" after all. 492 00:18:58,343 --> 00:19:00,680 No no, hang in there dude, okay. Andrea, she told me 493 00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:03,018 she can get you an actual relocation, 494 00:19:03,051 --> 00:19:05,056 to San Diego, okay? Right Andrea? 495 00:19:05,089 --> 00:19:08,295 Uh... yeah. Sure. No problem. 496 00:19:08,329 --> 00:19:09,379 Eh, it's fine. 497 00:19:09,632 --> 00:19:12,805 It's just, calf-tattoos and bad micro-breweries. 498 00:19:12,806 --> 00:19:13,939 Why'd you do that, dude? 499 00:19:13,940 --> 00:19:15,843 I mean, why'd you jump in front of a bullet for me? 500 00:19:15,844 --> 00:19:18,148 Because you got a lot more life to live. 501 00:19:18,482 --> 00:19:21,288 More to give to your friends and your family, okay. 502 00:19:21,656 --> 00:19:23,526 Don't take it for granted, Mark. 503 00:19:23,593 --> 00:19:25,864 Soak in every minute. [cough, cough] 504 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,470 Just tell me... one... thing. 505 00:19:29,505 --> 00:19:31,776 Yeah, buddy. W- What is it? 506 00:19:32,043 --> 00:19:33,914 Boom! - Oof! Dude! Oh man... 507 00:19:33,947 --> 00:19:35,215 You... little bitch. 508 00:19:35,249 --> 00:19:36,652 Historical... 509 00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:47,373 Uh, explain to me again why I'm at a funeral for Mark. 510 00:19:47,473 --> 00:19:49,778 - Oh, he's dead. - He's literally right there. 511 00:19:49,878 --> 00:19:52,316 Ahem. I was a good man. 512 00:19:52,651 --> 00:19:54,454 Smart. Funny. 513 00:19:54,455 --> 00:19:56,558 Maybe not conventionally handsome but 514 00:19:56,559 --> 00:19:59,096 with an undeniable magnetism. 515 00:19:59,097 --> 00:20:00,666 Mark, honey, can we wrap this up? 516 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:02,370 The guys are here to take the tent. 517 00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:04,508 The one thing I taught myself was this: 518 00:20:04,509 --> 00:20:06,745 It's not about the Super Bowls you attend, 519 00:20:06,746 --> 00:20:09,752 or the score of the game or that the Birds got screwed 520 00:20:09,753 --> 00:20:12,088 in the Divisional Round because some B.S. no call on an 521 00:20:12,089 --> 00:20:14,628 obvious pass interference that would have lead to the 522 00:20:14,629 --> 00:20:16,599 gimmie field goal to put us up by two, 523 00:20:16,933 --> 00:20:19,043 it's about being here with folks you love. 524 00:20:19,170 --> 00:20:22,243 You guys here. You know, a lot of people they don't know 525 00:20:22,244 --> 00:20:24,113 about Mark's biggest accomplishments, so 526 00:20:24,114 --> 00:20:25,783 I'm gonna go ahead and list them now. 527 00:20:25,784 --> 00:20:29,089 Threw a perfect game in MLB The Show 2021, uh, 528 00:20:29,090 --> 00:20:34,902 was ranked South Jersey's best hot dog salesman in 2014- 529 00:20:34,903 --> 00:20:36,270 Okay, guys that's rude. 530 00:20:36,271 --> 00:20:38,921 That's rude to leave right now, okay. I'm eulogizing. 531 00:20:40,604 --> 00:20:43,351 God, I hate this conference. 532 00:20:43,352 --> 00:20:44,887 There's nowhere worse than San Diego. 533 00:20:44,888 --> 00:20:47,178 It's like someone gave ska music its own city. 534 00:20:47,260 --> 00:20:48,897 Uh, two horchatas please. 535 00:20:49,131 --> 00:20:51,101 May I uh, make a recommendation? 536 00:20:51,134 --> 00:20:53,305 You gotta hit up the breakfast taco guy 537 00:20:53,405 --> 00:20:55,877 at the end of the market. It's unbelievable. 538 00:20:55,978 --> 00:20:57,647 Oh. Thank you. I- 539 00:20:57,801 --> 00:20:59,718 What the hell? 540 00:20:59,719 --> 00:21:02,190 Told you I get him a real relocation. 541 00:21:02,223 --> 00:21:05,363 But... didn't you get shot in the... chest? 542 00:21:05,364 --> 00:21:07,700 So it turns out when my organs got all mixed up, 543 00:21:07,701 --> 00:21:09,437 my heart ended up in my thigh! 544 00:21:09,438 --> 00:21:11,107 So when I got shot in the chest, 545 00:21:11,108 --> 00:21:13,518 it was actually uh, just uh- it was in my butt, so... 546 00:21:13,546 --> 00:21:15,950 anyway thanks again, Andrea. 547 00:21:15,951 --> 00:21:18,661 I'm gonna go uh, head to the zoo for the monkey feeding. 548 00:21:18,757 --> 00:21:21,428 ? Monkey time. It's monkey time. ? 549 00:21:21,596 --> 00:21:24,769 ? Gotta watch the monkey's eat the food time. ? 550 00:21:25,136 --> 00:21:28,341 ? Monkey time. It's monkey time. ? 551 00:21:28,391 --> 00:21:32,941 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0